heading - Mission Streams

CELEZA'S STORY.

I walked into Segelege village. I was very tired, my shoulders were hanging and my feet were dragging. My excitement about the mission field has faded into nothingness. Just the pain of suffering was left. The terrible heat, the fear of Malaria and not having enough money to provide for our needs has taken its toll. Once my eyes were full of stars and I was so excited. Bright Gama, Malawi, Ministry and new horizons laid ahead of us. I secretly hoped that Malawi would bring restoration to our shaky marriage. But now the gold has lost its glitter. My motifs were probably also selfish. Deep down in my heart I had the need to be acknowledged for my bravery and perhaps also showing the folks back home that I could do something they couldn’t. There was still this place in me that was never healed. But I wasn’t ready for the shock of reality when it came.

As I walked into the shop to buy bread, there she was. I looked upon this bedraggled human form. She was so young. Hardly sixteen, I thought. Her dress was torn and on the rippled breast hang a little child trying desperately to get some milk. It was very clear to me that she wasn’t capable to produce any milk.

I look up into her face and in those eyes. Those big brown eyes looked like that of a deer that was wounded and did not know why. As I looked into her pleading eyes my hurt and pain mingled with her hurt and pain and compassion welled up in my heart that was indescribable. As I stood there, lost in time, I knew what Jesus felt when He said:

...He had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd………….” Mark 6:34

My heart jerked in my innermost being and I knew that I had to help this child woman but she could not even understand my language. She was totally illiterate.

Through her hands movement I understood that she wanted some money and that was the one thing I did'nt have. I felt bitterness welled up in my heart. There were so many riches out there. They were saving the Rhino, the Elephant; making weapons to kill and I couldn’t give this woman a dime. I tried to explain but she did not understood. I took my bread and stumbled out of the shop, tears running over my hot cheeks.

Three months went by and I could not forget this women. I often prayed and said to the Lord that if he wants me to help her that we would meet again.

Sarel or Flora usually went for bread but this day I had to go. As I walked into the shop, there she was again. The next moment I found myself standing next to her and earnestly praying to God to help her, while tears were streaming over my face. I gave her a few cents, hugged her and left.

The next morning my doorbell ring and Flora called me. There she was standing on my doorstep with her torn dress and the little child on her hip.

I was surprised. How did this woman found me? Flora told me that she said that nobody ever prayed for her and when I did she was determent to find me and she followed me to see were I was staying.
This was the beginning of a relationship that lasted as long as I stayed in Malawi. She came every morning and then I cooked her, my breakfast and gave her enough relish and Maize to last for a day. We had so little and I did it secretly and prayed to the Lord that I would not run out of food for my child.

I prayed for her and ministered to her and she became so much better. I noticed when I did not give enough attention she faded away but with adequate attention and food she was better.

I noticed that the slightest thing made her very sick. One day she was really terribly sick and I took her to the Mission clinic. The Medical officer there said that she was seriously ill and gave me a letter of reference to the Queens Hospital in Blantyre. By this time the Landrover was running again.

I didn’t have money to visit her often and three weeks later she was back. When she saw me she started crying bitterly and trying to explain something to me. I called the neighbour and he interpreted for me. Celeza told me that she and little Sophia had Aids and they were dying.

I couldn’t believe this and was so shocked. I was trying to comfort her and tell her that it was not her fault that her baby had Aids. But I wasn’t very successful and the language barrier made it nearly impossible to communicate.

She often came and later introduced me to her aunt and her baby that was also dying of Aids. I tried to help the babies with the little money I had. One day Celeza called me and when I got there she told me that the other baby died.

The day that we buried little Rose I had to take the mother's place in the proceedings. She was lying in another hut, too week to walk and for some reason she wanted me to stand in for her. That day when I placed that little body in that little white Kist something broke down in me. I cried out to heaven and I wept the whole day. I knew that I could never proclaim the word of God or preach it again without being able to see the power of God or being able to help them. Just talking about Jesus without the Practical application of that word was senseless and meaningless.

Sarel decided he wanted to leave the Mission and divorce me and although I pleaded He was merciless. That Christmas day Celeza, Jenni-lee Sophia and me sat crying all day long. Celeza was pleading with me and wanted me to stay. She knew she was going to die without my help. I tried to talk to the other Missionaries and asked them if they would be able to help her while I was gone but nobody seemed to care.

Pastor Ghonti, the women that I work with in Malawi was the only one that was willing to keep an eye but she was far away and I knew that she did not have enough money to do that.

Back in South Africa I was fired as a Missionary by the Mission Pastor through the untruths that was brought against me. I hated them with such abandonment. In me everything died. Sarel left me and Jenni-Lee and we were with our two suitcases in the middle of nowhere. No money no car nobody to care. To my family, friends and church I was a shameful thing, an outcast. Everyone turned their eye away from me. Nobody asked me whether they could help. A family member came to my aid and help met and Jenni-lee to get a room in a boarding house. Alone in this place I had to make my peace with God. I had no money to communicate with Malawi. Most of what I still had stayed behind and I lost everything. Both me and Jenni-Lee’s identities and mine where wiped out in a moment. Even my 21st birthday broach that my mother gave me stayed there. Everything was gone except the emptiness and the tears. I tried everywhere to collect some money to send to Celeza but nobody cared enough to even listen to me. To the world Celeza was only a number but to me she was special. A heart locked up with fear and loneliness with no future, only a death sentences.

Little Sophia died in March 1998 and Celeza died in June, the same year. The devil tried to crush the vision of God in my heart for the Nation of Malawi and he nearly did, but Gods words never return void. After four years a miracle happen and a voice has been given me so that I can call out to the whole world. Please help Malawi that they will not die. Celeza’s death was not in vein.

I lost most of what I had for the Vision I had for Malawi and my Landrover was stolen from me. When I go now, I go by bus and when I’m there I walked where I had to preach, carrying my child on my back. Once we went to Zomba and I had to carry Jenni-Lee eight kilometres on my back. Once I sat in the sun with my child for eight hours not getting a lift.

Twice Jenni-Lee nearly died but if we had a good car and proper medical resources we would be able to do so much more. One thing I did not loose and that is the burning Vision that God has planted in my heart. A compassion for the nations was birthed in my heart and I know that it will never leave me.

Today I know that my heart is irrevocable bound to the broken-hearted people of this world. What is so devastating is that you find them everywhere. Churches are divided, Pastors has lost their vision and out there on the street are millions that once knew Jesus, but their dreams are shattered and there lives are broken. There are those in the world that doesn’t know Jesus at all and are totally lost.

Back